so let's talk penis.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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