real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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