3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
