windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
