I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize