Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
