Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
