What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
