Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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