Me. At least after what I've been through.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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