Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
