True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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