yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
