evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
