he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
