I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
