she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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