i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
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