So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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