She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
