Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize