He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
