So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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