it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Holy sore nipples Batman
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
