We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
