how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
