are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
