OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
