I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
