giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
