There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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