Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
where am i from again
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
