I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
