Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
