We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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