omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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