Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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