Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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