We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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