She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
