I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
