I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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