She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
