hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
