just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
