That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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