Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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