you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
