I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
