you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
