Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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