kristin has been a bad kristin
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
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