Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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