Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
either way he was missing a nipple.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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