I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize