I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
