no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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