I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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