It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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