only if we run a train.
done.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Randomize
