I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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