if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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