Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
