Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
