Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
