Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
