Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
