I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
