Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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