whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
